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From: Gryff Rees - Dartford - Wednesday, April 18
Re: fancy dress
I propose (although I won't be going) that the players also take part in this fancy dress outing for the last game of the season. An appropriate dress sense for this occassion that sums up our season is Ronald Mcdonald lookalikes because lets face it we have played like clowns, been run by a bunch of clowns and had the biggest clown in the manager Hollins.

All players must wear the extra large clown boots.

From: who flung dung???? - Swansea - Wednesday, April 18
Re: dung!!!
somebody must have flung dung in my eyes, or have the swans really played this shit this season its unbelievable, last year they were a team possessed with winning, now they couldnt win against a load sheep with foot and mouth. and the reason behind this is the so called management, they new last year they would reap the benefits of winning the 3rd, but never bolstered squad to play in the second maybe 2 new faces could have made all the differnce.

they will now go back to the 3rd and stay there, because dont expect boyd, saverase and our little french connection to be there next season, and that leaves us with who???. no-one who is capable of getting us back out there. the swans are a failing club who lives in dreams, what is the point of building a 25000 seater stadium when we cant fill a 11000 down the vetch, all the swans are good for these days is a bloody good laugh

From: tandoorijack - Aberdare - Wednesday, April 18
Re: Strange !!
I've read the press over the past few days over the takeover, after the Wycombe game last Tuesday, who should appear in one of my regular indies, three of the guys mentioned in all these press reports about takeovers. no smoke without fire eh, seeing James, Bradshaw and Lewis sitting down with others for a curry. could it be that they started something thats run out of control and cant stop it ?

From: Betty Jones - Swansea - Wednesday, April 18
Re: Bedtime Story
Imaginary scene between two top executives of M & S.

John Higgins/General Manager " I say Mike, results not too good this year, in fact bloody awful!"

Mike Levin/Sales & Marketing "Yes we're having a frightful time, what's gone wrong? I've done my bit, my waistline is getting out of control."

J.H. "I blame the customers, always complaing they don't like the clothes I've chosen or the way I've mix'n matched them, even threatening not to buy, damn cheek. One of these days, you never know, I may hit on a winner, that'll show'em. I just don't take any notice, they're all full of hot air and expecting too much if they don't like it they can stay away, who needs customers anyway?"

M.L. "Quite right John, I've spoken to the press, put them straight, you and I are on a damn good wicket here, can't have the punters putting their oar in and telling us what's what. Also got the media on our side and they're all sorry for you, great job blaming all and sundry for the mess we're in."

J.H. " Nice one Mike, maybe we can last at least another year, the salary does come in handy. Even if things don't improve you know me I'm no quitter."

M.L. "Stick with it John."

The two men happend to be overheard by the M.D. who promptly fired the pair of them, who could possibly run a businesslike that! ?

The above is fictional and any similarity between this story and the state of S.C.F.C. is purely co-incidental.

From: Gareth AJ Williams - Kettering - Wednesday, April 18
Re: They think it's all over....
RELEGATION IS NOT CONFIRMED! Yet. Both Swindon and Cambridge are 15 points ahead of us, and that is exactly the maximum number of points we can take from our remaining 5 games. Call me crazy, stupid, naive, an eternal optimist or whatever, but so long as it remains mathematically possible to survive, we should all pray for a miracle. THEY DO HAPPEN! Especially in football - it's afunny old game, anything can happen, it's not over until the fat lady has sung, etc.

So we should all rally behind the team in it's attempt to achieve the impossible. Despite our best league run this season being 3 wins in 4 games, if you look at each remaining fixture individually, you will see that they are all eminently winnable, with none of Brentford, Wrexham, Oxford or Oldham having anything to play for, except professional pride. Then on the last day of course, we host Cambridge. Not so long ago, I predicted this fixture could well be a relegation decider. All the recent defeats in 'must-win' games had almost crushed my hopes, but for some reason, my faith and belief in the team has been restored this week. So please, let's all get down to The Vetch and shout and cheer and sing and encourage and pray!

Don't forget about Bristol Rovers - they only need 4 from 5 games
ps - are you Hollins in disguise? ;-)

From: Rob - London - Wednesday, April 18
Re: Where did it all go wrong???
The answer my friends, is blowing in the hot air...(or is that the fat lady singing???)... Firstly,the Vetch is haunted by a ninth floor suicide..(or was he pushed??) Secondly,if you look at the league table from a positive perspective, like upside down, we're almost top! Third,our squad is too small...remember Alamo?...(more pills!)... Fourth,nearly all pitches in Div.2 are unplayable...not like those lush verdant lawns in Div.3.(.Ah..tennis at Halifax Town...)

Seventeenth,we're only good enough for division one.(Is that you nurse...?)

lost count,) our manager is the famous orator' Verbose Wordsmith 'DISGUISED as Hollins,who was kidnapped by alien beings and now lives on planet Survival,which stays up in direct contrast to the laws of gravity ,at 39 points south of Luton in the constellation of the Fat Lady.

222/'The term 'must win' is freemasonry for 'play like you've never seen a ball lads.' 138/I don't have to wear this straightjacket you know!!!

But on a serious note...Respect to most of our regular players, in particular Stu,Gio,Smithy and Rog for giving it their utmost ALL season,(esp.Rog.who doesn't deserve 3rd Div. football with his quality)Jenkins.Howard & co. for battling hard,The French boys esp.Fabiano for silky skills,the new boys inc.O'Leary for giving us hope for our future!And particularly Pricey,whom despite being played out of position nearly all season and receiving some heavy criticism,stuck with it. We may be down,but we'll be back.Let's keep smiling,even if it does seem a little bit crazy to do so!!!After all, yesterday's gone.

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